What a sad day for you. Thank you for sharing this post with us.

So sorry, Nicole. And such a sad, lingering way to leave this life. Namaste to you and to your Maman.

Nicole
I wish you the best. Without meeting you, I know you are one of the good people in the world. No words suffice, except I care.
Burnie

I feel your pain. My mother died in January of this year from Alzheimer's. It was agonizing watching her struggle, but her passing was still very painful. I am sending you a lot of light to help you through it all.

Peace.

as I lost my dad day by day to alzheimer's, I thought that it would be easier to when he died. it wasn't.

a few a my friends - some I hadn't seen for years - came to his funeral. that meant an awful lot to me.

I used to dream about him. in my dreams he was healthy and his old self. it was a gift of sorts. i know the dreams came from inside my head but i was grateful for the visit nonetheless.

i'm so sorry for your loss. i hope you have some peace and joy in your life very soon.

I am so sorry Nicole. My mother died 10 years ago from Alzheimers and now my father has it. It is a one of the worse things for a child to go thru, watching their beloved parent succumb to this awlful struggle. My thoughts are with you.

Sorry for the loss of you soulmate Nicole :(

a song that i hope will bring some relief is difficult ot find but i hope this one helps...

2003-01 - Do (Dominique van Hulst) - Heaven (Live @ TOTP-NL)

Having myself a little cry for you, Nicole.... xoxoxox

Aww Nicole. I am so sorry. I wish you the best in this very difficult time.

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So sorry to hear that. Condolences. I lost my dad right before New Year's.

Very sorry to hear that. Keep the peace.

My deepest condolences.

I lost my father to this horrible disease last week.

Take the opportunity to gather with family to share the happy memories.

the Association - Requiem For The Masses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-Gdfe-Glxc

Please accept my sincere condolences Nichole.

Elton John - Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GYI6XJH9Ss

Deep and sincere condolences.

I'm very sorry for your loss Nicole.My sincerest condolences...My uncle had that one...it wasn't pretty...and my wife has Huntington's....were making the best of what we can.....again my sincerest condolences....

Alzheimer's is a very horrible disease. It steals the mind but spares the body. I have worked in a nursing home for 20 years and it never gets easier to say goodbye. And now my own family member has been diagnosed. I saw her signs coming years ago, but you never can prepare for the shock of a forgotten name of her child, a vacant look, an uncharacteristic comment, an inappropriate behavior. It's never easy. I understand so well. Peace be to you. And peace and rest for her.

This is another beutiful song from Do,

Do - Angel By My Side

and a couple of classics :(

avril lavigne slipped away live

Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World

R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts

My deepest condolences, Nicole.

My condolences to you and your family, Nicole -- but I hope that the reason that you chose to embed this particular song in your post is because you find that you're able to take some comfort from it, for I think that it can do that. In fact, I know that it can because I had a rather serendipitous encounter with it when I was in the process of losing a relative.

In his later years, my paternal grandfather was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes -- and as time went on, he began to suffer a number of complications which can accompany it (neuropathy, kidney failure, heart problems, memory problems). About three or four years ago, my parents called me to deliver the news that dialysis was no longer helping him and that plans were being made to move him into hospice care. Since we all knew that this was the beginning of the end, everyone in the family went to visit him -- and since I lived only two hours away, I went by shuttle bus. My boyfriend at the time accompanied me to the bus station for moral support, but I'd missed the earliest bus by seconds and had no choice but to wait for the next. We went to get some food since I hadn't eaten breakfast yet -- but not long after we sat down, the song "Tears In Heaven" began to play over the station's sound system. While it's possible that it was just a coincidence (although some people believe that there's no such thing as a coincidence), I don't think it was -- I think of it as being synchronicity. I started to cry, but I was not crying over the loss of my grandfather -- or at least, that wasn't the only reason. I found the song strangely comforting and I took it as a gift from the Powers That Be, partly because I felt that it was letting me know in advance that my grandfather would pass away over the weekend (which he did only an hour or two after I arrived) but also because it reassured me that my grandfather would not be in pain anymore. I don't know with absolute certainty that there is an existence beyond this one, of course, but it's experiences like that which make me believe that there is despite the fact that I can't prove it -- and if indeed there is one, I feel confident that there is no such thing as Alzheimer's there and that your Maman is just as sharp as she ever was there (and more).

I am so sorry for your loss. This disease is such a thief. The entire family is victim.
I wish you peace and hope that you have beautiful memories to give you comfort.

My best wishes and prayers are with you in your time of loss.
Give yourself this time to grieve in the belief that things will get better as time goes on. Please remember the good times and take care.

My heart goes out to you.

I am so sorry - she was obviously a very good woman - we can all see she raised a daughter she could be very proud of.

My heart goes out to you, Nicole. You're numb, you're grateful for the end of any possible suffering, but you have a hole in you the size of the Atlantic Ocean. Life now has serious markers, and this is one of them. Children are another, but this one is like the back fence. It enveloped you for so long.

So sorry. Peace to you and yours.

My condolences to you Nicole.

May you find some small consolation here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhOstwxcwWs

Pie Jesu, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona eis requiem sempiternam (aeternam).

grant them rest.

I'm so sorry Nicole - my mom had Alzheimer's as well. It's a devastating illness and quite cruel - on many levels.
*

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, Nicole.

Sorry, Nicole....

Nicole,

I still read this blog from Google Reader everyday and always look forward to your posts (Amato is just "so-so", just kidding, of course).

I am so very sorry for your loss, my dear.

Take care of yourself and get the hubby and kids to surround you with love (as they always do, I am sure).

Deepest condolences, Nicole.

peace be with you both.

Condolences Nicole.

Nicole:

Having lost my mom two weeks ago after a long illness your choice of song hit home. I find myself listening to certain tunes as well, and thinking of mom.

In a week listen to Inner Smile by Texas.

mp

Sending kind thoughts and sympathy to you and your family. May you find comfort in all your fond memories.

Nicole, Please accept my sincere condolences. It's hard to lose the person who gave you life and who has known you longer than anyone on this earth. May happy memories console you.

clapton is dog.

Our family's thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Nicole,
My son was given this CD when it first came out. He was 14...we played it in our car on long vacation drives across the country. I loved all the songs in the CD but I would always get teary eyed, when it got to this song...the horror of losing a child.

This morning as I listen to the song again, I grieve for your mother who suffered from this terrible illness and for my son who was killed at 28 in Iraq...this song will always remind me of those long drives together as a family and to the sound of Eric Clapton and other music my son loved to listen to.

Nicole, I'm so sorry. I don't think we're ever really prepared for our parents' dying. It's very hard. I hope you and your family find some comfort in remembering your mother as she was, smart and dynamic, and is now, at peace.

Thank you all for your kind wishes...and I grieve with those who have shared in the loss from such a horrible, cruel disease. If you have ever watched someone suffer from a progressive disease like Alzheimer's or Parkinson's (as my father-in-law did), you have to have the hardest heart to not wish for more focus on stem-cell research.

However, I do want to be clear that it was not my mother who passed, but my grandmother, who always said that she was far too young and beautiful to have a grandchild my age and insisted that I call her Mamán. And she truly was beautiful until her final breath. But the dynamic woman who was the first female in her family to get a college degree and work in a male dominated field when most women stayed at home, and managed to move her six kids several times all over the world with her Air Force husband has been gone for many, many years. That's the cruelty of Alzheimer's.

Nicole,

Peace and Love to you and your Maman.

Oh, Nicole. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Life is a river -- always flowing, never ending. The spirit passes from the vessel to the aura surrounding us all, giving us energy and strength and joining the life force that encompasses each and every soul on this Blue Planet. She is not gone -- her energy and power are there for you to feel, to draw on, to love and remember, to think of when a song like this one plays.

If there is a heaven, it is right here, right now, with you and me and us. What better fate for us to look forward to?

My condolences on your loss, and my positive vibrations go out to you via the ethernet.

Yes, it is especially cruel. So sorry for your loss.

My own mother died in 2004, after many years in some other world, or nowhere at all.

The last voice to give her joy was not mine, but Pavarotti's!

It wasn't until he died that I could bear to listen to her recordings of him.

Don't expect to feel better anytime soon, but after a few years, the pain becomes more familiar, less of an imposition...

She was right about Pavarotti-whose voice would I rather hear on my way out than his?

Gayle @ 84:

Nicole,
My son was given this CD when it first came out. He was 14...we played it in our car on long vacation drives across the country. I loved all the songs in the CD but I would always get teary eyed, when it got to this song...the horror of losing a child.

This morning as I listen to the song again, I grieve for your mother who suffered from this terrible illness and for my son who was killed at 28 in Iraq...this song will always remind me of those long drives together as a family and to the sound of Eric Clapton and other music my son loved to listen to.

Killed at 28 in Iraq? Omigod. Your heart must be rending in two. Gayle, your post broke my heart.

Denice @ 38:

Alzheimer's is a very horrible disease. It steals the mind but spares the body. I have worked in a nursing home for 20 years and it never gets easier to say goodbye. And now my own family member has been diagnosed. I saw her signs coming years ago, but you never can prepare for the shock of a forgotten name of her child, a vacant look, an uncharacteristic comment, an inappropriate behavior. It's never easy. I understand so well. Peace be to you. And peace and rest for her.

Thank you Denice for what you do. I see people like you almost daily when I visit mom. You don't get the credit you deserve. People like yourself are doing what I can't on a daily basis. You make my day and my mothers easier. Thank you.

Hi there folks-I commented above, and in thinking about it, I saw a really beautiful film a few months ago called "Complaints of a Dutiful Daughter" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109465/) made by a filmmaker whose social worker mother had gotten Alzheimer's. She was doing this, if memory serves, in the '20s and '30s in NY and so of course her daughter was also devastated to see her mother not identifying her correctly sometimes or misplacing her or something. One thing that gave her some relief, however, was when her girlfriend mentioned to her that to her mother, she (her mother) was fine. Her mother did not perceive a problem. This woman's girlfriend mentioned this when the filmmaker and her girlfriend had sat down for a meal with her and she asked who this lady was. The filmmaker (Deborah Hoffmann) stated that it was her friend (her partner). The mother said something along the lines of it's nice we all have friends. She didn't know this was her daughter's lesbian partner, but as long as everyone got along, it was fine. Anyway, it was a lovely, thoughtful film, if you can find it.

Nicole,

My dear mom struggled with her unrelenting decline until her last breath on the Fourth of July this year. I recall the long drive home that night, scattered celebratory fireworks distorted through the tears.

Every day I cry, then pick myself up to carry on with the mission of bringing what my mom wished for - peace in this world.

Stuck behind the frame of the picture of her weary, but gentle demeanor on her final Christmas is the scrap of paper upon which arriving home that night I wrote, "I will try to be the mirror of your kindness".

Your Maman must surely have had the same wish.