Yusuf Islam, known to many as Cat Stevens, has joined Joe Satriani and the rest of the chorus claiming that Coldplay stole their music.

Really, guys. Trying to claim that you invented the IV-V-I-vi is like me saying it was my idea to eat tomatoes. I never thought the day would come when I took to the internet to defend Coldplay, but in this listener's opinion, every one of you, Coldplay, Cat Stevens, Joe Satriani, that little teeny band from New York that said Chris Martin saw you, all of you are just ripping off the "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life..." song. Well, probably not -- but trying to collect on the obvious melody that fits in perfect congruence with the most basic and rudimentary of chord changes? Come on.

Also, if I was the judge in Joe Satriani's lawsuit, I would throw the case out on the grounds that no one listens to Joe Satriani.

Anyways, here are the other comparisons. For good measure, I've thrown in the (horribly sexist) "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life" song that I first heard in the film Mermaids for good measure. Jimmy Soul should go sue the pants off all these clowns!

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I'm not even going to try to pretend for a second that there's any chance this is going to be good.

Spin, who I'm sure would make the quotes around "supergroup" bigger if they could.

The "supergroup" known as Chickenfoot -- comprised of ex-Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar and bassist Michael Anthony, Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith, and guitarist Joe Satriani -- have announced plans to release their first album.

First, my apologies to Michael Anthony, who is one of the most gifted background vocalists in rock. When a band whose members have sold a combined number of records that may very well have a ninth digit, and the only thing to look forward to is the background vocals, we might have a problem.

Sammy Hagar, who somehow tapped into the frustration of a nation upset about safe driving laws and turned "I Can't Drive 55" into a hit, backed by the assumed masturbatory showboating at the fast hands of Smith and Satch, with song titles like "Sexy Little Thing", "Soap on a Rope" and "Oh Yeah"?

I am going out on a limb and saying that this will not be the best album of 2009 -- though to be fair, the acrobatics will be sportsmanlike at worst.