January 24, 2014

I don't think House Speaker John Boehner crushed anyone's hopes during his interview on The Tonight Show this Thursday, when he explained to Jay Leno why he'd never run for president: John Boehner Tells Leno He’s Not Giving Up Wine, Cigarettes to Run for President:

John Boehner is happy where he is, thank you very much.

The Republican Speaker of the House told Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show” Thursday that his personal habits would prevent him from embarking on a White House run.

“I do drink red wine,” Boehner said. “I smoke cigarettes. And I’m not giving that up to be president of the United States.”

Andy Borowitz summed this one up nicely:

So basically Boehner is saying he's too drunk to be President but just drunk enough to be Speaker of the House.

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