March 24, 2021

Someone let the Wingers know that "I was just kidding, can't you take a joke?" isn't a serious legal defense.

In particular, maybe let Sidney Powell know. She's being sued for $1.3 billion with a "B" by Dominion for perpetuating the Big Lie that Donny boy really won the 2020 election, and that Dominion voting systems were involved in "voter fraud," leading somehow to Joe Biden being installed as president. Her claims went so far as to assert Venezuela's involvement, and I think maybe Rosemary's Baby.

What's her defense? "How could anyone think I was serious? No one in their right minds would take me seriously! Haha!" Poppy Harlow read these actual legal words from Sidney Powell's legal brief asking Dominion to just get a sense of humor, already, and drop its suit: "no reasonable person would conclude that this the statements were truly matter of fact." Then Harlow asked Elie Konig, "Is this a serious legal defense? Will it stand? And could she be disbarred?"

My answer is, No, it isn't a serious legal defense, because when she made those claims, she wasn't wearing Groucho Marx glasses with the mustache thingie that hangs down that lets everyone know you're kidding. When she stood in front of the media, she was just wearing her regular old face, and not doing the Fozzy Bear "Wakka Wakka" thing he does, so how would we know she wasn't serious?

Elie Honig came to the same conclusion as I did, but uses more legalonious language.

"No. It's not a serious legal defense, no, it won't stand. What is so interesting to me, Poppy, is Sidney Powell doesn't even try to claim that all of her claims about election conspiracy, election fraud were based on some nugget of truth, some kernel of fact," Honig said, incredulous. "She gives that all up and admits flat out, not only were they lies or conspiracy theories, they were such flagrant lies that no person could possibly reasonably believe them."

Do you see where a Bozo the Clown wig would have been helpful, here?

Honig continued, "In fact, what Sidney Powell has done here, is she has made the plaintiff's case. She has made Dominion's case. Dominion need to prove these were false claims. Sidney Powell knew they were false. She's now come out and all but admitted that in her court papers."

See, I have questions.

1. Is Sidney Powell secretly a DEMOCRAT?
2. Can she sue me for defamation for asking that question?
3. EVEN IF I AM WEARING MY VALKYRIE HELMET WITH THE BIG HORNS AND THE BRAIDS WHEN I SAY IT???

Harlow has more journalism-y questions, like, is Powell on the hook for a BILLION DOLLAZ?

Honig says she may just be. "Well, ordinarily it is hard to prove a defamation case. But not when the defendant admits it was a complete and flagrant lie." And while Powell's in court saying no one should have taken her seriously, Trump, Giuliani, and every other seditious MAGAt a$$hole took her VERY seriously. Honig pointed out they're STILL taking her seriously. "They have not given up on it yet. So next time Donald Trump gets on TV or, you know, gets on social media and says election was stolen from me, remember, his chosen attorney at one point, Sidney Powell, she's already given it up. She's already said, 'No, big lie. So ridiculous, nobody should believe it.'"

While many of us wish the Trump presidency was merely satire, the hundreds of thousands of lives destroyed and lost say otherwise. *stares in COVID and January 6th*

Honig explained why Powell's lies can not be given the protection of satire, using Saturday Night Live as an example. "If they did a sketch and started yelling the crack pot theories about how Venezuela hacked into the voting machines, you and I would understand this is a comedy show. This is satire. This is public sort of commentary. It's parody," he said. "However, that is not at all how Sidney Powell held herself out to the public. She said these things in court filings. She said them at very serious press conferences to the national media. The fact she is saying, 'Think of me like Saturday Night Live,' I think, speaks for itself."

Unless she was wearing a Rosanna Rosanna Danna wig.

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